Archive for April 1st, 2014

April 1, 2014

Shocking Newsflash

Hinckley, UK
April 1, 2014
A statement earlier today from Triumph Motorcycles rung dismay in the strengthening British industry for two-wheeled vehicles. With their state of the art factory in the heartland of Leicestershire and worldwide facilities in the Far East, and soon Asian and South American markets, their future indeed looked bright. However owner John Bloor, 70, made a press release stating that he was “selling up!” And “Moving to The Caribbean”, to “Play more golf”, and “do more fishing” as well as “drink more cocktails on sunny beaches”.

A new owner has already been found which will entail a re-badging of all current and future products. A certain Teutonic company who have a strong stance in both the car and motorcycle industry have stepped forward as the new management of this organization.


A spokesman from BMW, Herr Gruberwurst, 54, said: “we are thrilled at this opportunity for an expansion of our current line-up; however some changes will of course have to be made; the renowned Bonneville with half a century of history behind it will be renamed “Der Gutstadt” and the all-terrain Tiger “Die Panzerrad” Also with some duplication with our current models some of the englisch mottorrad may be canceled…”
As Mr Bloor will be taking the name “Triumph” with him to into obscure retirement, renaming a Bahaman atholl he has procured Isle Triumph, all existing owners will be sent blue and white checked rondel badges with the famous Bayerische Motoren Werke logo to apply to their tanks as well as a pair of decals for bodywork. Of course those with the original Meriden Triumph motorcycles can keep original logo badge due to their ‘historical significance’ towards British history.

In other motorcycling news Honda are eyeing up a certain Milwaukee motorbike maker for a takeover…